We all have low moods from time to time. For instance, if a relationship breaks up we may feel shocked, we may cry, go off our food, get angry and irritable, sleep poorly and get anxious. Usually, the mood passes after a few days and we get back to our normal way of living. We may say that we have been depressed. What I experienced was what doctors termed “clinical depression” or major depression. It’s a more severe illness, which a person has had for at least a few weeks, affecting the body as well as the mind. Below are the symptoms, which I experienced. I have divided them into psychological and physical symptoms.
Psychological Symptoms of depression
* Loss of interest and pleasure in things you used to enjoy – I lost interest in everything, including things that I felt so passionately about, such as singing
* Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, helplessness
* Inappropriate guilt. “My father had died from a bad fall and I felt guilty that I was not around to save him”
* Problems with thinking, concentration and attention. “ For example, I would read a couple of sentences from the newspaper and then not able to concentrate anymore”
* Poor memory – By afternoon, I cannot recall what I did in the morning
* Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide . “ I kept thinking of my late father and those who passed away and that I had a terminal illness and will be going to join them soon. I kept telling my husband that life is meaningless and miserable.”
* Overwhelming sadness and grief
* Depressed mood. Dispirited all day long
* Decreased ability to make decisions. Inability to make even simple decisions
* Lack of motivation – I lacked motivation and had trouble finishing any task on hand, even simple ones
* Becoming withdrawn. “I withdrew from all social activities”
* Preoccupation with negative thoughts. “ For example, whilst driving, I kept thinking I would meet with a terrible accident”
* Self-blame . I blamed myself for bringing my children into this world to suffer”
* Restlessness.“ I became restless every ten minutes”
* Anxiety .“Difficult to relax
Irrational fears and phobias – I suffered from panic attacks whenever I stepped out of my home. For example, the moment I was in the lift, I feared that the lift would break down. When I am on board a plane, I feared that the plane would crash
Delusions – I believed that I possessed supernatural powers and by staring into other people’s eyes long enough, I could control their minds
Hallucinations – I had all kinds of hallucinations and these included hearing voices and seeing things that did not exist. For example, I saw bean sprouts standing up as I ate a bowl of noodles.
Physical Symptoms of Depression
* Sleep problems – Insomnia, waking up early or sleeping too much. At one stage, I could go without sleep for three days in a row
* Decrease or increase in appetite – Lack of appetite or suddenly wanting to eat a lot
* Fatigue – Often feel tired
* Physical aches and pains – I suffered from stiff neck, backaches, etc.
If you or someone you know have such symptoms and lasting more than 2 weeks, it is best and wise to seek professional help immediately.
